Do you consider the role of boundaries as part of your mental health and well-being?
Establishing clear boundaries are essential for maintaining mental and emotional health for every person. They allow us to clearly define to ourselves and others what our limits are and through effective communication they can show others how to respect what matters most to you. Boundaries are not just limits communicated towards others, they are for our personal relationships, internally with ourselves, within work environments, and with our close friends and family members. Setting well-defined boundaries help us maintain our well-being, reduce stress, and foster respectful, healthy interactions with ourselves and others.
This blog post aims to offer further insight into what boundaries are, why boundaries are vital to humans, and simple effective ways on how to establish them.
Understanding the Importance of Boundaries
Boundaries serve as indicators that stem from our values, needs, and feelings marking what is okay and what isn't okay for a person. This is different from our personal self-expression, distinguishing our feelings, values, and needs of ourselves from those of others. Boundaries play a vital role in cultivating self-compassion, as it reinforces self-respect, space to re-evaluate ones own values, and self-confidence.
Setting clear boundaries are instrumental in reducing stress significantly as well as, resentment by preventing overcommitment and setting unrealistic expectations of ourselves and/or of others. Ensuring that we do not consistently prioritize the needs of others over our own. For instance, by not prioritizing ourselves in a given situation we may not be able to provide or give the best version of ourself when we intend to. We often hear the metaphor of placing the oxygen mask on your face first before supporting someone else. This is because we sacrifice our own sense of wellbeing for others. Thus, we must be effective in our communication of our limits to develop healthier, honest, and more transparent relationships to build solid foundations with mutual respect and understanding of one another.
Simples Steps for Setting Effective Boundaries
Creating and enforcing boundaries is a skill that can be developed with practice. Here are some steps to guide you:
- Self-Reflection: Identify your limits by reflecting on situations that have made you feel uncomfortable, stressed, or regret. Understanding what inspires those feelings is always the first step in setting boundaries.
- Ask Yourself: Is this okay with me? Why or why not? What would be better and more helpful to the current situation?
- Clear Communication: Express your boundaries assertively, clearly, and respectfully. Be kind, truthful and direct about what you can and cannot tolerate. It can be helpful to write them first to see how it feels first.
- Consistency is Key: Enforce your boundaries consistently. While it may be challenging initially, especially if others are used to old patterns and not liking change. Consistency reinforces your commitment to your well-being and teaches people what you are willing to do or not do now!
- Practice Saying No: Learn to decline requests that overextend your emotional or mental capacity, even if it is something you really want to do but may not have the energy or capacity to do so right now. Remember, saying no allows you to say yes to activities and commitments that align with your values and well-being when you are ready for it.
- Seek Support: Sometimes setting boundaries may not be indicated in some situations and require support to set them in place safely. Seek support from friends, family, or mental health professionals who can provide guidance and encouragement. Especially if you have the feeling that some people will react poorly and cause greater harm to yourself or other kids and pets.
Applying Boundaries in Everyday Life
Whether in personal relationships, social interactions, or professional settings, boundaries are crucial in maintaining balance and health so that you can do all that you do in a day.
In Relationships: Communicate your needs and limits clearly, whether they pertain to time, emotional support, comfort level, or personal space.
Ex: I need to walk away because I feel frustrated and feel like we are going around in circles. I need some space and will come back to it when I am more calmer.
This is a clear and direct way to put your words into actions for you to follow through and take gentle care of yourself. We can think more clearly when we are responding from a calmer state, not a reactionary state.
At Work: Set boundaries around your time and workload to prevent burnout or overextending your work hours into your personal time. Clearly define your work hours and responsibilities, and communicate these limits to colleagues and supervisors.
Ex: Thank you for taking a look at my project. I'll be able to further complete this tomorrow when I'm scheduled to work. Have a great evening!
Most commonly these things come through emails, Slack messages, or texts from our workplaces. Having a few written messages can help to reinforce those boundaries as stipulated by the contracts and hours expected from your workplace.
Digital Boundaries: In an always-connected world, establish boundaries around your digital life to ensure technology doesn't encroach on your personal time or mental space.
Ex: Use the features of your technology to set time limits, passwords or move apps to another screen/page from their usual spots.
By shifting things around and setting personal limits with our technology using the built-in features, we can set mindful boundaries so we can do hobbies or things that invite more joy and fun!
Empowering Yourself Through Boundaries
Setting boundaries is a profound act of self-care that empowers you to honor your needs, protects your mental health, and build resilience. Through respecting your own limits and communicating them effectively, you create a foundation for healthier, more fulfilling interactions leading to a more balanced life that is created for you!
Maintaining these boundaries may look different over time for every individual but through continual self-reflection and self-respect we enhance resiliency and feeling better about ourselves. When we sacrifice our boundaries, allowing others to chip away and break them down, then we lose respect of ourselves and others then get to treat you the way they want and not how you wish to be treated.
If you're seeking to develop stronger boundaries and want guidance on how to start, consider reaching out for an appointment. Together, we can explore strategies that empower you to establish and maintain boundaries that support your mental and emotional health.
The content in this blog is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always consult your doctor or a qualified mental healthcare provider before trying new healthcare interventions. Talk to your therapist about your values and what boundaries you'd like to implement. If you do not have a therapist please reach out!
